delirium

2006-10-22T06:09:00.000-07:00

i am a worm

A levels!

2006-10-19T05:17:00.000-07:00

nothing concentrates a man's mind so wonderfully than knowing he is to be hanged in a fortnight

2006-08-30T06:11:00.000-07:00

i had a terrible day today :( :( :(

Heavenly!

2006-08-12T08:59:00.000-07:00

2006-08-09T18:38:00.000-07:00

Maddening Mugger Man Mania!

2006-07-20T04:01:00.000-07:00

alright i shall give a quick run down of my life as it has been this holidays+++

i probably had the best time of my life this june and july. ironic isn't it, with A levels breathing down my neck, where every day is like a step closer to the gallows. i've watched like four movies in the past month (quite a substantial number considering i haven't seen a movie in about 1.5876 years), Coldplay was absolutely brilliant and there's Mogwai coming up in two weeks time!

okay so i'm starting to turn into MuggerMan (MM) already and it's a really wonderful feeling too. imagine sitting down on friday night and realising that you've got NO work to do because all your tutorials've been done ahead of time! i had that feeling for the first time in my sorry life last friday. and also i've realised that reading science fiction books though seemingly innocuous, can have devastating effects on someone's life. here are some effects i've experienced since recently starting on Battletech:

1) i feel extremely geeky and i think i'm going to wear thick nerd glasses soon
2) these books are extremely addictive and therefore extremely detrimental to MMs
3) i'm starting to see robots in my dreams

but it is well worth tolerating these possibly life threatening side effects for the entertainment :D
and i'm also thinking of shutting down my blog for good or switching to livejournal because really, having a regularly updated blog is like living your life in a fish bowl, laid bare for strangers to see

woah this is the end of what must be my longest post ever i hope it didn't sound like one of those blow by blow accounts of what i did today etc. i'm just swelling over with all thats happened that it had to go somewhere. study hard!

tata

2006-07-18T04:23:00.000-07:00

pleased to meet you, i hope you guessed my name
but what's puzzling you, is the nature of my game

2006-07-14T04:49:00.000-07:00

Glory is like a circle in the water,
Which never ceases to enlarge itself,
Till by broad spreading it disperses to naught

2006-06-25T08:50:00.000-07:00

i can't explain, you would not understand. this is not how i am

2006-06-25T06:18:00.000-07:00

always look on the bright side of death

2006-06-23T05:16:00.000-07:00

die! common tests in 2 days time!
nevermind they'll be over in 6 days time :)

we've only got to bear with about 15 hours of that OhShitI'mGoingToFailThisSoBadly feeling before we're free! okay so now go study and don't spend all your time reading my marvelously long posts :D

2006-06-01T05:58:00.000-07:00

you'll shine like gold in the air of summer

hockey

2006-05-29T08:02:00.000-07:00

a two hour training session with recs gave me a rude awakening to the harsh reality that training with a team could often be cold, hard and stressful, nothing like what i used to have with the nj guys. especially when you're among one of the weakest players on the team, you're constantly on your toes, there's no resting lest a momentary lapse in concentration gets you a big screwing from the hockey demigods you're training alongside.

it kind of made me realise how much fun the nj team was to train with. with random people executing random oddities all the time which really cracked the team up. i remember looking forward to the little games we played under the worst of circumstances (the little track D). i remember dreading physical training along with the rest of the team (even though i pretended to enjoy it because Captains somehow like these kind of things). i remember looking forward to dinner after training with the guys, and the late nights we spent at NTU discussing how the heck we were going to get home and make it through school the next day. just these remniscent recollections bring a smile to my face, hockey really was one of the few things that brought some thrill into my banal school life.

i remember rahul telling me that at some point it wasn't so much winning that mattered anymore but more than that the fun you have with the rest of the team, the experience of passing through the peaks of triumph and the valleys of defeat together that really counted. and although i still am disappointed that we didn't manage to make it to top four, because i think we really deserved a spot there, i don't have an ounce of regret at all. everything we went through this season, including that painful loss to MI, is something i definitely will relish and remember for a long time to come.

sure, we don't have the silverware on our shelves to prove the blood sweat and tears we went through, but i think the friendship we've forged bears testament enough to what we've gone through together.

me in sexy chinese dance tights. haha

2006-05-24T05:00:00.000-07:00

just what the hell is wrong with me

2006-05-23T05:27:00.000-07:00

failure
is always the best way to learn
retrace your steps till you know
have no fear your wounds will heal

happy days!

2006-05-22T06:49:00.000-07:00

time to study!

2006-05-14T07:18:00.000-07:00

lace up your boots and fight!

with nobody in mind

2006-05-07T00:35:00.000-07:00

the well placed look of ignorance drawn on his face exudes confidence, and his every subtle gesture sets him apart from the rest. the carefully rehearsed swagger in his gait, his panache, strike a sense of fearful respect into those around him. his facade is immaculately crafted, his appearance impeccable. his mere presence makes heads turn, he seems invulnerable. to him, questioning his ability would border blaspheming the sacrosanct.

but when it comes to the crunch, when his mettle is ultimately put to the test, he fails miserably, shedding light on his inadequacy and inability.

there are some things you just cannot hide.

2006-04-30T03:49:00.000-07:00

what's the immaterial substance
that envelopes two
that one percieves as hunger
and the other as food

2006-04-28T20:09:00.000-07:00

NJC 2 CJC 0

contradiction

2006-04-25T07:03:00.000-07:00

we played anderson today for our first match and though it wasn't exactly the best of games, we managed to pull a 2-1 victory.

and i scored the winning goal! oh the unparalleled ecstasy of putting the ball seamlessly into the back of the net! although most of the match was excruciatingly nerve wracking watching the defence come under endless pounding, the team pulled through just fine :).

but, thing was, i was really good friends with the anderson centre back when we were both still in sji. and us winning today effectively put them out of the competition. when i shook his hand after the match, his "good game" was riddled with disappointment and dejection, his handshake weak and yeilding. making eye contact with only the ground he told me "that's it. we're out. life's a bitch."

and suddenly winning wasn't so joyful after all. i put myself in his shoes and began to realise what a horrid feeling it would be to be as good as eliminated after your second game after one year of blood, sweat and sheer grit. hockey probably means a great lot to him in jc, just like it does to me, and us winning this match snuffed out that glimmer of hope he and his team trained so hard to make reality. when i left the hockey pitch i saw him sitting in a corner staring bleakly at the floor and i felt terrible.

people tell me, well, that's competition and in life you win some you lose some. i know that fair well. but it really sucks to strive for glory at your friends' expense.

2006-04-22T16:25:00.000-07:00

but he said to me, "my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

2006-04-21T09:01:00.000-07:00

shaun: "how was aristal?"
kao: "it was superb."

bummer.

i missed dance night which i was anticipating quite abit and the only compensation i have is sore fingers and tired eyes.

ah well, that's the least of my concerns right now. four days till nationals start, and so many things aren't going the way they should be. i think i'm coming down with a flu. i feel extremely tired and sleepy all the time. i'm playing for worship this weekend and it's bound to drain me. the team jerseys and shorts don't match. i'm not sure how the team will play on the first game. i'm not sure if the short corners will work. i had to boot two players from team to cut it down to 20 people. i don't know if i will play well or crumble under pressure.

there are just so many things that seem to be out of control and that don't seem to be going ideally, there's nothing i can be certain about. now i know what yazeed went through last year when he led the team as captain. i know what it feels like to be responsible for a team and to prepare them for competition with almost non-existent resources save the two times a week our coach comes down. and what’s worse is that so many of the guys don’t seem to be the least bit appreciative, constantly complaining about how little pitch time we get how few appeal slots we have how few times the coach comes down and what not. there's so much pressure to perform, both on the pitch and off, it's quite an awful feeling.

hopefully i'll be able to forget all this on tuesday when i step onto the pitch, and i’ll just get into my game quickly and play well.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh just another thing i can't be certain about.

hello

2006-04-18T04:06:00.000-07:00

i really needed a break from all the nonsense happening at lazerfish so voila! :)